Drag Queens and Singing!
by KukaruiValentine
Summary: There! I changed the title to better describe this ramble. It isn't really a story, it's just a bunch of rambling on. Rated the lowest I could make it, just in case. Reno and Vincnent in DRAG! Catchy theme song not included!


**A/N: Beth: **Hello there, my favorite- est peoples in the whole wide world!!!

**Yuffie****: (smiling)** Cool, like when did you become, like me?  
  
**Beth: **Aw, just shut the (#%)(#%@!@ Up! I am not like you, you little #%)(*$#%$%()&*$)(*% )$#(%*)$*%)@*(%$   (@#%##$#$!@~!!!!!!!!!****

**Yuffie****: **Wow, that was so like Cid..  
**  
Cid: (Walking in) **What was *$#%$% like me? Wait, Beth doesn't normally censor me! 

**Beth: (sighs)** I know Cid, but I am TRYING to make a rated G or PG thing here, no more R!  
  


**Beth: (laughing)** I pit' da foo' dat tries ta ruin our group o' 'elpers!

**Barret****: (Comes crashing in)** Wat's dis I 'ear about chos' tal'in' lik' me?  
  
**Beth: ...**

  
**Vincent: (opening his coffin and looking at her)** What? That was my response..  
  
**Beth: (looks at Vincent)** Sorry. and I didn't mean all of them aren't going to be G..just a few are going to be. uh.. 

**Reno****: (walking in)** People friendly?  
  
**Cid, Yuffie and Vincent: (Gasp)** RENO!!!

**Barret****: **Turk Scum!!!

**Beth: **Relax, I invited him.. And yes, People friendly.

**Cid: (sighs and lights up a smoke)** So. where were we?  
  
**Beth: **I still have to do my disclaimer..

**Reno****: (laughing)** So they don't rob you of your soul?

**Beth: (nods) **I don't own any Final Fantasy Character.. I own nothing. 

**Vincent: (laughs) **She doesn't even OWN her soul, I do! She sold it to me for a can of Coke!!! That was like three stories ago!

**Beth: (growls)** Thank you Vincent, they get it.. Ah, SODA! ** (Grabs can of Soda and tries to drink it, only to find it empty) **NO MORE SODA!!!

**Vincent: **I gave you your Quarter! You drank all your soda! Now, leave me with my new soul!!!

**Yuffie****: **This is boring. I am leaving..

**  
Cid: **Me too..

**Barret****: (leaves with the other two)**

**Beth: (giving Vincent the puppy dog eyes) **Please may I have my soul back???  
  
**Reno****: (gasping for air)** Puppy. Eyes. So. Cute. Must. Resist.

**Vincent:** No.

**Beth: (starts to sniffle, big Bambi eyes brimming with tears, she looks at Vincent)** Please?  
  


**Reno****: (standing next to Vincent)** Come on man. how can you resist this?****

**Vincent: (sobs out) **I CAN'T!!! Here, Beth, have your soul back!!! 

**Beth: (smiles, her cute face disappears) **Now for your punishment...

  
**Reno****: **uh.. Our WHAT?

**Vincent: (hides behind ****Reno****)** I am right behind ya, pal!

**Reno****: (looks at Beth)** That's comforting!

**Beth: (walks over to ****Reno**** and Vincent) **Let's see. one. two. and HEY NANAKI!!!

**Nanaki****: (comes walking in)** Yeah?  
  
****

**Beth: **what is a good punishment for these two clowns?****

**Nanaki****: (laughs) **How about a really boring fan fiction?

**Reno****:** That won't work, we are in one right now! Er.. Oopsy..

**  
Vincent: **Thanks! YOU JUST GOT US KILLED!

**Beth: (smiling, pulling a censored screen over Vincent, ****Reno**** and herself)**

**Screams are heard behind the curtain.**

**Beth: (still behind curtain)** Pay no attention to the crazy lady behind the curtain!

**Nanaki****: (sighs)** I need a vacation..

**Beth: (pulling the Curtain up)  
  
There stands Vincent in a deep blood red long dress with black silk gloves and his hair in a braid, he is wearing makeup. ****Reno**** is in a shorter white gown with a wig and makeup as well.  They both look at each other and grimace, lipstick on their lips. **

**  
Beth: (laughing) **I do not own this song they are about to sing as punishment! Hang on... **(Jumps on Computer)** What's a good song for them to sing?

**Nanaki****: **How about.. Dude looks like a lady? By AeroSmith? Which she doesn't own, b y the way!

**Beth: (printing the lyrics) **Perfect.. Here boys, start singing!!!

**Yuffie****, Cid, Cloud, Barret, Aeris, Tifa, Cait Sith, Elena, Tseng, Rude, Rufus, Scarlet, Palmer, etc. (EVERYONE) Comes in and sits in a theater that suddenly appeared.  Reno and Vincent are standing on the stage, behind the curtain.**

**Beth: **Start singing boys! **(Raises Curtain) **

**Applause is heard as the two men walk onto the stage, ****Reno**** trips because of his high heels. Vincent mumbles and stands glaring at the audience.**

**Beth: (starts the music)**
    
    **Vincent: (started to sing)**
    
    Cruised into a bar on the shore
    
    He picture graced a grime on his door
    
    She a long lost love at first sight
    
    Baby, mabye you're wrong
    
    But you know it's all right - that's right
    
    **Reno****: (starting to sing)  Back** stage we're having the time
    
    Of our lives until somebody says
    
    'Forgive me if I seem out of line'
    
    Then she whipped out a gun
    
    Tried to blow me away
    
    **Reno**** and Vincent: (together, start dancing the funky Chicken and singing at the top of their lungs)**
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    **Vincent: (by himself, twirling so his braid fans out, smacking ****Reno**** in the skull)**
    
    So never judge a book by its cover
    
    Or who you gonna love by your lover
    
    Love put me wise to her love in disguise
    
    She had the body of a venus
    
    Lord, imagine my surprise
    
    **Reno**** and Vincent: (together, start to do some Russian squat kicks) **
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    **Reno****: **Baby let me follow you down
    
    **Vincent: **Let me take a peak dear
    
    **Reno****: **(Baby let me follow you down)
    
    **Vincent: (wailing as Steven Tyler does)Do** me, do me, do me all night
    
    **Reno****: **(Baby let me follow you down)
    
    **Vincent: **Turn the other cheek dear
    
    **Reno****: **(Baby let me follow you down)
    
    **Vincent: (wailing again)Do** me, do me, do me, sue me
    
    **Reno****: **What a funky lady
    
    **Vincent: **Oh, she like it, like it, like it, like it
    
    **Reno****: **Oh, he was a lady
    
    **Reno**** and Vincent: (in unison, start to dance the Macarena) **
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    Dude Looks Like A Lady
    
    **The group claps and applauds the talent of these two men that are decked out in drag. Vincent  curtsies, and Reno bows, his wig falling off in the process.**
    
    **Beth: (laughing as she came onto the stage) **Thank you boys! That was most entertaining!
    
    **Vincent: (removing the braid from his hair)** Can we get on with the story now?
    
    **Beth: (looks at him)** Hmm?  
    
      
    
    **Reno****: (nods)** Yes, this is all OOC!
    
    **Beth: (sits and thinks) (Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks Thinks thinks thinks thinks) **
    
    **Vincent: (looks at ****Reno****, they are now both in regular clothing)** What is she thinking about???
    
    **Reno****: (shrugs)**
    
    **Beth: (jumps up) **That's all folks! Just some OOC singing by our two, er. by my two favorite guys, just something to kill the time, and my reputation!
    
    **Reno****:** What? You mean that we weren't in an Author's note this whole time?  
    
      
    
    **Beth: (nods)** Sure, but this is funnier than any story I could come up with! BYE!!!


End file.
